Ha! He's so sprawly!

yeesh.

Wow. That third Malkin goal was pretty unbelievable. Seriously. I hate the dude and I hate his team, but wow.





Do we really need to see his mom every time he scores a goal? I mean, it's not like it's the first time she's at his game. We saw her all through the Caps series. Are there no other players' parents there that we could see instead? Are you jsut showing her because she looks like a short version of Malkin wearing a wig?

Also, is it just me, or is it impossible to tell Paul Maurice and Dan Bylsma apart? Seriously. If I didn't see which players were sitting in front of them, I would have no idea which one it was. Same haircut, same glasses, same puzzled look on their face. Anyone have any helpful hints for telling them apart?

The return of Metal Mania!

Yeah, it's a bit early in the off season to start metal mania, but since there was no hockey on Friday night, I happened to flip over to VH1 Classic. I think they used to only do Metal Mania on Saturday and Sunday nights, but hey, what do I know?

They played some Skid Row, which got me wondering which video/song is better?




or



I love Monkey Business, because it shows them at the height of their popularity, but Youth Gone Wild is great too, because it shows them at the beginning...all baby faced and trying to be snarly. Tough decision!

Kovalover

I forgot to post this! Thanks to Jess and Soph for this little gem, and congrats to them today as they graduaaaaaaaate! Woooooooohoooooo!

Thanks, Braceface!

Um, yeah. My Braceface does not look like this. At all.

I was at work yesterday, and a frequent customer of mine stopped by for her usual. I hadn't seen her in a while, so we made some small talk. She asked if I was going anywhere on holiday, and I told her I was headed to Montreal in June. She asked if I was going with anyone, and I said "I'm meeting a few friends there." She said, "You have friends?"

Ouch, Braceface. She didn't mean it in a mean way, so I didn't take it too hard. In fact, it sorta made my day, because it was just so funny and so brutally honest. She wanted to know if my friends were from around here, and I told her no, they were from all over....New Jersey, Canada, the West Coast. She said, "Oh. I'm looking for some friends."

Poor Braceface. I have to call her Braceface because she is a 30 year old woman with braces, and she's not quite pulling it off. Plus, she used to be mean so we had to give her an evil nickname.

So, friends, just 6 short weeks left until the draft. Who's gonna be there? I'm hopefully getting there Thursday night, and leaving on Sunday. No news on draft tickets yet, but I know y'all will keep me posted. I do have a backup plan in place in case I can't get tickets the usual way, more on that if it becomes necessary.

Happy Saturday to y'all, and look for the return of metal mania soon!

Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to join Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin in holy matrimony. Wait, what? Elegy? Oh, my bad.

[With so many apologies to Walt Whitman and his estate and heirs. Please don't sue me...]

Oh Sidney! My Sidney! Your season's finally done! Your team has gone and screwed it up, your Cup will not be won. The end is near, the chants I hear, the people all boo-hooing. While Pensblog writes their final post, and waits for Autmun starting: But O tears! tears! tears!
O the saline drops of sad, where on the ice my Sidney lies, crying like a [rhymes with sad]
Oh Sidney, my Sidney! Rise up and shake their gloves. Rise up for you must shake their mitts for you are Bettman's love.

For you hat tricks and shady goals, for you the refs come running.
Malkin, Letang and Gonchar too, their dreams are left unfinished
Here Sidney! Dear Sidney!
You can't defeat Ovechkin!
I must have dreamed that in the first
You beat my team in 6.

My Sidney does not answer, his playoff beard is gone
My Sidney does not hear my boos, he just lets out a yawn
Sid is back at Mario's place, Wii fit ready to go
He tries his hand at tennis, to try and beat Boudreau

Exalt O fans, and sound the horn
for we are free at last
finally we know for sure
Hippo kicked your ass



Oh wait, eulogy? Crap. I thought you said elegy. Um, okay, so what can we say about the Pens this season.

In a season that saw the villainization of Sid the Kid, it seems only fitting that Crosby and the Pens should be taken down by Ovechkin, the NHL's new golden boy.

Starting the season without Gonchar was bad news for my fantasy team, but great news for my real team. Gonch is a freaking Flyers killer, and it was good to know we wouldn't have to see his round pasty face for a few months. (Gonchar's ugly mug doesn't scare me as much as Olli Jokinen's, but it's close.)

Flyers fans everywhere were delighted to see the Pens get off to a rocky start, and we drooled over the rumors of Michelle Therien's demise. Well I have a secret for you: it's not Bylsma that got you into the playoffs. It was Gonchar. Do the math. You boys will be grumbling about Paul Maurice's twin 18 months from now after you lose Gonch to injury or trade/free agency.

Rest in Peace Pens. See you on the links! (Pens fans love a good early golfing joke!)

Oh crap, you mean I still have to write about hockey?

Don't fuck it up tonight, Hiller.

I actually love watching the playoffs once my team has been eliminated. I mean sure, there's not as much passion involved, but there's not as much stress either. You can sit back, relax, and not really care about the outcome of the game. As the game goes on, you realize who you're rooting for (unless it's Pens/Caps, then you know you're rooting for NotPens) and then you live and die with every goal.

However, now that the Flyers and Habs have been eliminated, I've gone back to a more night time related schedule at work. That has really been cutting into my game watching time. I would venture to say I have not watched one entire game since my teams were eliminated. Even when I have been able to watch, I tune in but the game barely holds my attention!!! What is wrong with me? Why am I burnt out on hockey? It's starting to scare me. I'm home tonight and well rested, so I am going to try and watch both games. I'll let you know how it goes!

Update: Well, I failed. I watched the first period of Canes/Bruins while flipping back and forth between Seinfeld. Then, flipping back and forth between Family Guy. Then I fell asleep on the couch at 8:40 and woke up around 9:45. Bad, bad, bad hockey fan. Let's see how I do with the Ducks game. Although honestly, it's 10:26 and I haven't started watching it yet. Sigh.

Really? Emery? Her?

Ray seems perplexed by the idea too...

H/T to Poor Richard's Scorecard for the find. I guess I've been negligent in keeping up with my Flyers' news!

Homer interested in Emery, Biron not worried.