Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Season Preview, blah blah blah.

Well, I haven't really written much here about the upcoming hockey season. I have however, written a few blurbs for a couple other places. So to quote myself regarding the upcoming season:



From the New York Times Slapshot Blog:

Will the Flyers be better or worse than last year, and where will they finish?

They’ll be about the same as last year, and end up around the same spot, fifth. Yes, they’ve made some great additions, but there are still a lot of question marks.

What team would you most like to see fail this year, and why?

I couldn’t call myself a Flyers fan if I didn’t choose the Pens. But if the Pens start to fail, they’ll just bring in a new coach and have a great second half and win the Cup.

Your fondest memory of the Flyers or a Philly player?

Saturday, Feb. 2, 2008. Flyers vs. Ducks. I got to see The Pronger in person for the first time. That, or anytime we beat the Pens. Or the playoff series vs. the Caps in 2008. Or vs. Montreal in 2008.

What player would you most like to see checked right through the Zamboni doors?

Crosby would be the easy answer, but Olli Jokinen or David Clarkson would work for me too. Or any Penguin or Devil.

Automatic penalty for a check to the head – yea or nay?

I’d have to go with yes, which seems weird since as a Flyers fan this could affect my team the most!




From the Season Preview over at Puck Daddy:

"I think we can expect the usual games from these guys: jump out to an early lead, take lots of dumb penalties, and take their foot off the gas in the third. Sure, Pronger will be there to cut a [expletive] and clear the crease, but whining Captain Richards will alienate fans with more 'it's just one loss' statements. Emery will channel Biron and Esche, and fans will call for Coach Stevens' head on a stake by early January. The Flyers will limp into the playoffs and get eliminated by the Pens, breaking my heart for a third straight year. Pretty much same old same old for these guys."





And of course, from The Hockey News, the one thing the fan base is excited about for the upcoming season (you'll just have to buy a hardcopy):



Two words: Chris Pronger. Flyers fans love winning, but even more, we love seeing Cup-winning cross-state captains get crushed. If you’re not excited about Pronger in orange and black, check your pulse.





See? I did write about the Flyers, just not here! How weird? I guess I work better with a deadline and a two sentence limit!





Monday, September 28, 2009

Monday, September 21, 2009

Do you like spider crickets? Because I'm not fond of them....


For this story, keep in mind that this thing looked like a spider. A huge jumping spider.

I was having a perfectly lovely Monday off from work. I like Mondays off, because I feel if you work Thurs/Fri/Sat/Sun, you deserve Monday off. Am I right? I had a leisurely brunch around 1pm: fried potatoes, bacon, toast and eggs. I came upstairs so check my email. Out of the corner of my eye I see what I think is a cricket. Upon closer inspection, it looked like a crrrreeeeeepy spider. I throw a box at it to gauge its responsiveness: it jumped a foot lateral and 7 inches vertical and then went into my closet. Fuuuuuuck.

I stand there paralyzed, afraid to walk past the closet to get downstairs in case he jumps out at me. I finally muster up the courage to walk past the door, all the while yelling "don't jump out, don't jump out, don't jump out!" I go out to the porch to find the bug spray. There is none. I mix up a concoction of Clorox Clean Up and water, and set my spray bottle to "stream." I head upstairs, and get one of the lights from the photo studio. I shine it into the closet.

There he is. Right in the corner like a good spider should be. I score a direct hit my first time around, and he starts jumping around like a maniac. I spray and spray and spray and scream and scream and scream. He jumps and jumps and jumps. He finally shows signs of fatigue and I spray and spray and spray. Damnit Clorox Clean Up, how long before you get into this guys lungs?!? He finally starts to curl up a bit.

I'm not fooled. I've killed enough spiders and seen enough horror flicks to know that he is only pretending to be dead. He lies there motionless, upside down, glistening. I wait. No movement. I spray him again. Still nothing. I stand there and wait for Rod to get home to remove the body. I know if I move to get the broom, the body will be gone when I get back.

My Monday is ruined.
After the Clorox.....

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Like you care, but Five Reasons I Love the Flyers.

Yeah yeah, this one has been done to death this off season, and my list has already been posted over at A Clockwork Orange, but y'all can check it out here too.



Five Reasons I Love the Flyers

1. Being hated by 29 other fan bases

Declaring yourself a Flyers fan is roughly the equivalent of saying “I like eating raw puppy guts for breakfast.” Sure, Toronto hates Montreal, and Detroit hates Colorado, but EVERYONE hates the Flyers and their fans. It’s a great feeling to hear people say, “stay classy Philly” and know they’re talking about you. Yes, I have booed an injured player from the opposing team lying on the ice. Get up, you bitch, he didn’t hit you that hard!

2. Knowing for certain that your goalie is going to fuck things up

If you love the Flyers, this is inevitable. However, there’s a strange sort of comfort in knowing your goalie is going to fuck things up. Making it through a game without wanting to gouge your eyes out due to your goalie’s miscue is a rare and strange feeling. But you can rest assured that he will make up for it doubly during the next game.

3. Halloween sales

That’s right, if you want to pick up some Flyers’ themed gear, just check out Target during the month of October. I mean, you need a lot of orange and black striped socks to make it through the season. Some of the pairs will be lucky, some will not, so it’s best to pick up a few extras for when you have to stop wearing the unlucky ones.

4. Flyers bloggers

Since most Flyers fans allegedly can’t read or write, our blogging community is relatively small compared to other fan bases. Many blogs have come and gone, but the ones that remain are fantastic and funny.

5. Penguins games

Nuff said, right?



Friday, September 4, 2009

Question

Has Scott Hartnell cut his hair? Just wondering.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Holy Training Camp Guide, Batman.


Flyers announced their training camp schedule today. That's not unusual. What is unusual is the lovely training camp guide that accompanies it. Wow. I've never seen anything so comprehensive for training camp. And I guess the theme for this year is "Relentless"? Hey, it beats Hungry for More.